Embodied approaches to Life and to Therapy

3.Human Esteem is the recognition that healthy beliefs about ourselves are equally true for others.

4. The difference between whether we function autonomously or as victims is determined by what we believe about ourselves.

5. There are five Healthy Core Beliefs that provide the foundation of Human Esteem. They are: I and all people are capable, I and all people are powerful, I and all people are lovable, I and all people are valuable, and I and all people are equal.

6. Gentleness is a powerful human resource that is often neglected, particularly in self-treatment.

7. There are two primary ways that we relate and feel about ourselves and others: being for or being against. We choose how we relate.

13. Affirming that we are adequate is the first and essential step in accomplishing our goals.

14. Whether we view self, others and world as okay is determined by our core beliefs.

Whenever I want change, the way to begin is to notice how I am relating to me. Am I on my side or on my case?

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"Am I on my side or on my case?" Is a self-confrontation.

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I find the most effective and gentle form of self-confrontation occurs when we question our belief systems.  "Am I willing to believe?" as a form of self-confrontation is respectful of previous beliefs, gentle in tone and supportive of personal autonomy. 

 I believe that these three qualities – respect for previous beliefs, gentleness of tone and support for personal autonomy – are hallmarks of healthy caring

Once I am aware that I am capable, powerful, lovable, valuable and equal, I am free to decide what I will do. At one time I decided to be a minister and went about doing what was necessary to become one. Later I decided to become a psychotherapist, and did what was necessary to become one.

 I've decided on many goals, skills and adventures throughout my life, and as long as I felt I was capable, powerful, lovable, valuable and equal, I would put my energies into accomplishing those goals.

The process is important. First we affirm that we are adequate, next we direct our energy toward achieving our goal, and finally we create an acceptable solution. This is not to imply that we can be or do anything we want to be on a whim. 

But it is to say: as long as we are willing to believe that we are capable, powerful, lovable, valuable and equal, we can decide to be what we want and systematically pursue it to a satisfactory resolution. Sometimes a satisfactory resolution may include changing our goals.

It seemed to me that questions of being are the outcome of this process so I began to ask myself, "What do I want to be?" The idea that most interested me was, "Am I willing to be a peacemaker?" I decided for the next six months I would utilise my "rambling/rumbling" thought time to the question, "Am I Willing to Be a Peacemaker? 

This question initiated the most exciting journey thus far in my life.